Ponderings...

A few thoughts; not my own, exactly, but my heart is aligned...

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning


Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' ...

Working Woman

What does 8.23 am on a Tuesday morning find me doing? Getting ready for work of course. Ive been working at the Town Square Library for almost a month now! The really funny thing is...I made more money as a missionary than I do as a 'legitimately' working woman. Go figure!
I just thought that was endlessly funny.
I enjoy working there, though I would really like to work the Information Desk, help people find what they need, what they don't know they are looking for, just pointing them in the right direction. That sounds immensely satisfying to me. Instead, the other DA's (Departmental Aide) and I race around to see who can shelve a cart of books the quickest. Good times...?...
By the end of next week I will know whether or not I will be interviewing for the PD job, and I am hoping against hope that this will work out...I think. When I got to the test, (with the other 200 people!) they mentioned that the job is worked in shifts, and holidays and weekends. I don't know if that meant it was a "this will be your life", or "this may have to happen from time to time." I just want a 9-5 job please! No weekends, no holidays. Goodness.
Truly though, I only want this job if it is pleasing to the Lord, and is where He is guiding me, so I leave it in His hands.
Alas, the books are calling me, and I can stave off jumping in my cold car no longer.
Au Revoire! (I don't even know if that is spelled right...spell check didn't recognize it at all!)

All Things Youth

I noticed that I have been talking a bit about the youth ministry, how about some visual aids to go along that theme? I'm pretty sure I will be blogging a lot more about the ministry, and/or the students, and what God is doing, so I hope you enjoy...




Youth Group...we had to play an intense memory game...our team won!



Balloon-blowing...NOT my favorite...but still fun! We won that one too!


Paul speaking during Sunday night Youth Group, getting ready for worship.



The High School Leadership Retreat at Mount Hermon, wahoo!



The High School Mission Trip to Vancouver, Canada.By far our favorite past-time!



Courtney (also a leader), Holly, Me, and Brent during our servant Evangelism day. There is an older blog about teh trip that goes into detail about this day.




Our small group! Very small, hehe...

A Giver of Good Gifts

This weekend I stumbled upon a favorite passage of scripture:

Luke 11: 11-12
11"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

It's been in the back of my head for the last few days, and I even re-read it this morning.
It turns out it was a pretty good day for this verse!
A few days ago my parents said that they were going to hook the cable/dvr up in my room. In all honesty, I think they are doing it for themselves more than me (and it costs them nothing extra, just the installation fee), so we don't have to fight over the tv all the time. In my room I have a teeny tiny 13 inch box tv that is positively ancient, and I only ever use it if I can't sleep at night and want to watch a movie, it gets no channels at all.

Anyway, tonight me and dad were on our own for dinner, and we weren't really hungry at the time we left, so dad said we should go check out TV's. So we did.
My father, who is a giver of good gifts, suddenly buys me a 26 inch, flat-screen LCD HDTV.

I have done nothing to deserve this! I am not worthy, I am not in any way deserving of something so grand. And yet my daddy, who loves me more than anything else in this world, does this great thing for me, simply becuase he loves me.

Thinking about this, how much GREATER are the gifts that the Lord gives us?! And notice He doesn't say 'gifts', He says the Holy Spirit, which apparently is the GREATEST gift of all. Receiving the Holy Spirit = Greatest Gift. Hmmm.
What does that look like, receiving the Holy Spirit? Well, I can only speak for myself, and at this point, I won't, so if you are reading this you can ask God for yourself. :)

My dad is the world's greatest. He has sacrificed so much in his life so that I won't have to. He has bested all the odds stacked against him to succeed greatly in his life. He provides everything I need, and most everything I want (I'm his baby girl, he's still wrapped around my finger! Though I promise I did absolutely nothing to provoke this wonderful event!).
My daddy is a giver of good gifts.
So is my Jesus.
I love my daddy...
simply because he loves me first.

Sleepless In Vacaville

I'm tired. Exhausted might be closer to the truth, but I just can not manage to turn my brain off and calm my body down. I am wide awake. At 1 in the morning. I have to wake up soon. Dang.

I spent this last weekend in the Santa Cruz mountains, attending the Senior High Leadership Retreat at Mount Hermon. I attended once before, several years ago, and it was fun to go back and experience somewhat the same thing, just with new people...whom I love :)

It was fun being a leader, watching the students take on leadership responsibilities within the youth group. Watching them slowly starting to realize that we believe in them, and want to treat them as adults (when they act like it ;) was pretty awesome. It is interesting to me to see how down on themselves teenagers are, and I think a big part of it might be that parents, and really society, do not give them enough credit and the chance to take ownership over things. Granted, moody teenagers can only handle so much, but I think we forget that in this time when they are starting to truly develop themselves, actively ask themselves who they are, and struggle through the challenges that life throws at them that ultimately helps guide their character, for the most part, the more responsibility we give them, the more responsible they want to be.
Just a thought.

Today I spent a few lovely hours sitting in my favorite Starbucks, sipping my second favorite brew, talking with one of my favorite people. Courtney Ronald is pretty awesome.
We talked all over the place, but generally our words were centered around God, faith, and what our lives look like with Jesus at the center. I really can't imagine a better way to spend my time...well, that's a lie (I could be traveling to some exotic country sharing the love of Jesus after all), but it is most certainly one of my favorite ways!

We talked a lot about our weaknesses, and for the sake of vulnerability and transparency, two things I value, I will discuss them here. Though the list probably never ends, for any of us, I'm pretty sure I wont hit on everything...

One of my biggest downfalls is negativity. I am SUCH a positive person, I ALWAYS view EVERYTHING positively, and always focus on drawing out the good in everything and everyone. I think sometimes this is to a fault, and I do not always have the best grasp on reality because of it, but I just do NOT understand why people would choose to go through life so down and depressed when they don't have to. When talking with someone who tends to spin things negatively, my reaction in the past has been to walk away, and avoid them entirely. That is definitely NOT the way Jesus wants us to interact with one another, and I really want to work on that, but I am just not sure how, really. I think one thing may be to realize that there is something deeper going on than I know, and not to "judge a book by it's cover" and write someone off like I know everything that is going on. People are worth it, period.

I don't think this one falls so much under the category of weaknesses, but it's something I struggle with, and that counts. I struggle a LOT with trying to find the balance between living up to the truth I know, and not being some 'over-spiritual' know-it-all, horridly annoying Christian. There are certain foundations that I have built, certain truths I have walked through, and many faith issues that I know to be true, and I can't, and don't want, to deny or downplay that. Even more, though, I do NOT want to be that person who always makes people feel bad about themselves, and come across as if I'm judging people because they are doing wrong. Where is the balance between accountability and judgement?
Could it be love?
How do I accurately portray that?

I hope this doesn't read as some down on myself, needs encouragement blog, because it is not. Positivity is a good thing, because I know that I am a wonderful person, and I have SO much to add and offer to life, and it is all because of Jesus. What love to live in!

Well, my eyes are feeling twice as large as they are, hopefully the net few minutes will find me drifting blissfully off to the land of the unconscious...au revoire...

Thoughts, I guess.

So tonight was the first night of small groups. I'm co-leading (apparently I have an apprentice!) a group for senior high girls, 11-12 grade. It was a casual night, everyone hanging out and getting to know each other mostly. There are three groups, 9-10 grade girls, 11-12 grade girls, and one big guys group. We all meet at one of the students homes, and split up from there. We only had one girl in our group, so it was fun just being together and getting to know each other a bit better.

One thing I have been thinking about lately are the qualities of a leader. What does the world say a leader should be? What does Jesus say a leader should be? Looking at it, sometimes they coincide, other times they are the opposite spectrum.
I could go on and on, comparing and contrasting ideas from the two, going in depth with explanations and definitions, but mostly, it's too late and I'm too tired.

Praying about it, the only thing I can do is hold myself accountable to what Jesus is asking of me. And what He is asking of me looks different than what He is asking of my leader, my friend, my parents, you. I have to constantly be submitting my entire self to Him, seeking Him over me, in every way. And truly, that is the only content place to be. It's not always comfortable, most often times it is not, but I just can not get away from it, being in the center of God's will is the only place I want to rest.

What would it look like if we all sought after that with all our hearts, and didn't stop until we achieved it? What would it look like if we truly understood what the love of God means, what it looks like? How much MORE we would truly love our neighbor, and ourselves.
I want to be a person of love. I want to love truly, and with abandon.

yikes...its been awhile!

Wow, i didn't realize how much time has passed since my last entry, I apologize! I guess this might be a bit random...

What are these days finding me doing?

- Watching all four seasons of lost ( I finally caught up today)
- Looking for a job (I interviewed at the library today!)
- Cooking dinner for the family...tonight we had Curried Chicken With Cashews and farre.
- Scrapbooking my many adventures abroad...I just finished this last trip to Thailand and the Philippines.
- Getting myself dug deep with the Youth Ministry at church. This year I will be leading a small group of 11-12 grade high school girls. I am also on the Missions Committee, and my personal agenda on there, among others, is to see our church going international with adult short-term mission trips. Get the Word out.
- trying to keep myself busy, my basic only schedule right now involves people only. It's not bad, but I'm ready for a bit of work and education in there as well.

What is going through my head right now?

I am pondering the love of God. It is a pretty endless conversation to be having, I suppose. The discovery and journey of love is endless, and will always trump over everything else that tries to stand in it's way...I think I am thinking that because I can hear my dad watching the original Star Wars on T.V., and isn't Star Wars all about good versus evil? It just seems to me so blatantly obvious that that fundamental war is biblically based, and so many metaphors are thrown at you throughout that saga.
...tangent (on Star Wars?)...sorry.

I have been thinking lately. I have been thinking about leadership. About being a leader. Being a leader is a big deal, a very big deal. I think too often it is not taken seriously enough, and failure ensues. You are responsible over every aspect of a person, and it is your duty to protect them, to see them grow. I think it doesn't matter if it is "spiritual" or not.

I'm sorry this isn't more cogent, I think I have been in a place lately of discovery, of figuring out my life now that I am here at home, and while it has been a fairly un-eventful transition, (thank you Lord!), there is so much I am trying to establish a foundation on here at home.
I think the big thing is the balance between living up to the truth, Word, and knowledge I know and have learned, and not being so over-bearing that I turn others away. After all , I want my life to be about living in the love of Jesus, and pointing others in that direction by the way I choose to live, I don't want to be labeled some 'over-spiritual christian', that really turns me off. It isn't about religion, it's about relationship...