the three L's

as a leader, there are a few (well, a million wouldnt fit, so well stick with a few) lessons im learning along the way, they are the three L's of leadership, i would like to call them. they are, in no particular order, as follows:

leaders:

1. listen

2. are always last

3. need to have a whooole lot of love!

number one: ive learned that as a leader, the biggest gift i can give to me leadee (?) is simply listening to them. sometimes, you just need a safe ear to vent to, and then everything has worked itself out in the course of words spilling forth into the air. i know thats the case with me most of the time. if im not listening, always interjecting my thoughts and opinions, no matter how right or wise they may be, im not really caring for my student, and giving them quality time. i think thats what they are after, after all.

number two: always, always, always, leaders are last. no matter what it is, i am always last. when we leave a location, we stick behind to make sure everything got cleaned up and thrown away. always last in line, of course so we can pay. last to the internet cafes, as we usually need to got to the store and buy food or supplies. the demands of the team always preceed our own demands, and as such, we are always last. this is the hardest lesson for me to truly grasp, and live in, but ive had many wonderful leaders in my life who have demonstrated the grace and composure that accompanies this pasrticular lesson.

number three: love. lots and lots and lots of love. because not everyone on the team is always going to love eachother, and everyone needs to feel accepted. i HAVE to have a lot of love for every student here, otherwise i will let me emotions and human-ness take over and very quicckly will make an annoyed face and say sarcastic things (which unfortunatly, i have done more times than i care to admit), which is pretty much the most un-loving thing to do. this lesson is one that im demanding God meet me on the most, and He has come through perfectly. such is His character. Go God! haha. thankfully, i am part of a team that is pretty easy to love (most of the time :), and who loves me in return, even when i make mistakes. for that, i am most grateful, and for that state, mutual love flowing between both parties, makes absolutely everything worth it, and fun besides! i never knew i had the capacity for so much love, and i know this is only the beginning of a life-long journey of discovering just how much love i am actually capable of receving, and returning. good thing God is love :)

well, we are about to head to chiang mai, which is apparently the western capital of thailand, AND THEY HAVE STARBCKS! notice the emphasis on that sentance, haha, more so than any other statement previously made. i plan on dropping my stuff off in my (hotel!) room, spending a major amount of quality alone time in my favorite place ever (besides my home, of course!), meet gary at pizza hut, and spend my evening trolling the night market in search of the best deals for sarongs, a jewelry box, and maybe some dvd's :)

au revoire!

psalm 121.

so wow.
yesterday we packed our bags for an overnight stay in a karen (pronounced kuh-wren) village.
we were supposed to leave at 2, headed out after 4, and did a few open-airs along the way. well, my role during those is to start and stop the music, haha. we had dinner at a local dive and sang kareoke...for reals! i wasnt feeling too well, but still managed to get up there and sing some good ole shakira (though nothing holds a flame to antti DANCING like shakira!!).
we made it to the church around nine, the church had a cement foundation, was maybe 50X50 in measurement, and wasnt sealed on top, so lots of lovely and not-so-lovely bugs found their way onto and into our beds. which were mats on the floor. the last time we went up into a cillage it was considerably colder, cool even, so we prepared for that. not a chance! it was a heat wave of magnatudal (magnatudal? is that a word?) proportions! sweat was accumulating everywhere, breathing was heavy work, and swatting mosquitos was no fun. it was pretty bad sleep for all, and it didnt add to my sweet dreams that the pastor said that there were tigers that lived in those hills!!! i was pretty pissed at first, hearing that, but God quickly calmed me down and gave me a good dose of peace (seriously, it was God, i was freaking out, who would remain calm under those circumstances, normally!!). we woke up, i noticed about 15 new mosquito bited, ate rice and nescafe (as gary like to call it, nesCRAPfe) 3 in1 coffee (coffeee, cream and sugar!), and made our way to a refugee camp.
i have neither time nor brain power to relate to you the situation of the karen people as it stands now, but it is a long, bloody, persecuted history, please look it up, it really is worth reading about. the refugee camp consisted of 50,000 refugees, who couldnt leave the camp, their entire lives were spent in a few kilometer raduis. talk about not having a world view. we talked with a teacher there, who shared about the people, and went to a handicapped home to pray with a few people. we had a bit of time to walk around and see everything, and as i was praying, i didnt feel burdened or depressed by what i was witnessing, but peaceful, i felt like God was showing me another part of His creation, and telling me to enjoy it. not the plight of the people, but the fact that i could stand there and pray to Him and worship, in the middle of a refugee camp. so i did. psalm 121 came to mind, and it so fit with what i saw before my eyes. what a wonderful God.
we are headed to chiang mai the day after tomorrow for an overnight vacation, which im going to take full avantage of, as the two weeks coming after are jam-packed with work to be done (seriously, in our last location we will be building a clay wall, as well as staying in mud huts! i am much looking forward to it though, and cant wait to write about more adventures!

ok so i guess this is the continuation of yesterdays entry. (im getting so good at keeping this updated!...well, i guess im getting good at finding my way to internet cafes!).
so today was our day off, so pastor michael took us and the denver team (a wonderfully english-speaking team of five doing a media-focused outreach) rafting down the river! the very brown, clody river. i still swam in it. it was a pretty long trip, and mostly fun. we got in our rafts and headed out at around 9 this morning. we each had guides to steer the raft, but we also took turns paddling. we quickly discovered a strange (disgusting, gross, scary!!) new phenomenon. they are spiders the size of daddy long legs, but thicker and bigger-bodied, that just love to jump!!! oh Lord, thats right, every time (ok not every time, but at least seventy-five percent of the time) we went under trees or brushed against them, spiders would drop into our boat! matt became my personal savior, and every time he would see one on me he would swat it off. i did a very good job not screaming, and remaining extremely calm about the whole situation, but i did not appreciate spiders jumping up my legs, under my sundress. not at all. not even a little. after the rafting, we ate a lunch of fried rice, sticky rice, and chicken. well. then we went down a zip line! we climbed up a bamboo hut, strapped in, and launched out over water! let me clarify when i say water: it was a large pond, of sorts, still water, green (like mold, algae green) and sometimes brown, with who knows what swimming about underneath. i went twice, the second time losing my 2 dollar sunglasses as i let go and zipped down a bit upside-down. oh well. its not like there are markets with cheap sunnies on every street corner or anything.
so to expand on an earlier statement about contentment:
i realized a few days ago that God was really speaking to me about being content, and living in the moment. i cant figure out anything that has changed, but suddenly i find myself wandering around the markets, with not a lick of english to be found anywhere, absolutely content. every day, i feel so energized that i am in exactly the place i am supposed to be, and it makes me so happy to be so content here. not that its gotten super easy here, or things have changed drastically, but im just so content! i wish i could fling my contented-ness on everyone around me, so we can all live so joyfully, and relaxed! its such a good thing, its deeper than some flitting emotion, and in stressful moments i can look back on this truth, and continue to live in it. God has been amazing at speaking volumes about His love for me, He just so knows everything we need! what an amazingly worthy God i serve!

hey, check this out: www.outreach08.blogspot.com
click on outreach pictures for an overview of what weve been up to.

fishy tales

ok how have i not talked more about roti? honestly. so roti. im not sure if its the national dish of thailand, but it sure should be, its sinful! its a dessert, to be found solely from street vendors on street corners, or sometimes in the markets. it is fried dough that the roti master flips pizza-style until it is tissue thin, and the size of a huge crepe. they put it on the skillet, and fry it until golden brown. they fold the sides in until it resembles a rectangle, and then put sweetened condensed milk and sugar crystals on it. they then roll it up and put it in paper, only 5 baht for your enjoyment! you can get them filled with a variety of delectable treats, my personal favorite is bananas! (ps 5 baht doesnt even register in american money, the exchange rate is 30 baht to one dollar).
so today we wentto do open air evangelism in a burmese/thai market, and as i was wandering around, i happened upon what must be the local fish monger...by female persuasion. this encounter made me singularly happy that i am in thailand, at a local market, for before my very eyes was a tub full of ugly orange fish, bigger than koi. customers must simply point out a fish, and the monger scoops her arm into the tub, pulls out the fish, tosses it to her handy-boy, who clubs its head, de-scales it, and puts into a plastic bag! it was so funny to me to watch this, and im not sure why, but as i sipped my coke-in-a-bag (its true, to-go cokes here come in little plastic bags, much like you get in grocery stores, but much smaller), i pondered the fact that i am truly content here. and its a wonderful feeling!
well, theres always so much more to write, but alas, atti is staring at me through the window, and its dark, so i cant walk alone, ciao!

musings and other random things...

so the day before last we left chiang rai to head for the tak province, in a town called maesot, which is on the border of burma.
we had a 4.30 am wakeup call, and gathered all our wordly possessions about us, and headed for the bus depot, where we hoped wewere boarding the right bus, as our translator had left us the day before, and at 5 am there were no people about that spoke even a whisper of english around, so with many hand gestures and pointing, we boarded what we prayed was the right bus. we boarded a less-than-comfortable-but-not-so-bad-im-going-to-complain-about-it bus, and i took the sweet pill named dramamine, and waited for it to kick in and knock me out. i fell asleep, and when the bus stopped i woke up, assuming we had to be at LEAsT halfway to our destination. well....we had actually only been driving for about 15 minutes, and were in town, waiting for 7 so we could really get rolling. the dramamine had kicked in enough by then that i didnt even care, and barely noticed the team of white people that had boarded right behind us. of course they were a ywam team, and after making cloudy conversation with them i layed my head down and passed out. we were told that thebus ride wqould be 4 hours. psych!it wasmore like 7 1/2. sheesh.but i slept through most of it, andlistened to music the rest, so it wasnt bad.
we landed in the tak province. it was pretty sweltering. reminiscint of the philippines. yikes. we called the pastor, and he and his family met us, and took us to a wonderful restaraunt where we had a deeelicious thai lunch! after that we said that the day was just for relaxing (his english is good enough for clear communication, but still a little broken when he speaks), and took us down to the river, where we could swim. not everyone was hot for the idea, but antti and i jumped right in. we had fun swimming upstream and letting the water carry us to an inlet, and just goofing around and cooling off. tiesha and hanna joined us at the end, and we all had fun watching the thai people point at us and our obviously white skin. ah, such is the life!
after that we were all in the back of the truck, where we thought we were headed to our new home...wrong again! he took us instead up to a hill village, and the girls were dying, thinking that that was where we were going to be staying. when he got out he said that he wanted us to meet his friends, and then he asked us to put on a one and a half hour show! and we did! well,the students did. those awesome, holy, wonderful students! we had had a suuuuper long day, and everyone was tired, and some of us were wet, and it was cold up there to boot, but they all had wonderful attitudes about it, and prayed, and put together a show! they did all their skits and dramas, gave testimonies and a short message, and at the end of it, a large group of people who had ever heard the gospel before made decisions to accept and follow Jesus! im pretty sure that was a defined moment in the students lives, they felt more encouraged than ever before. it was such a humbling experience for me, and i am so glad for gary, because if the pastor would have talked to me, i would have said no, we had a long day, everyone was wet, tired, and hungry, but God is so gracious! i feel like that time was just as much for us as for the people!
i am so humbled to be a part of this team, and God has really been working on me a lot lately, giving me a burden for certain students, and really revealing His heart for them to me, and its been sort of painful, ive been doing a lot of repenting, and changing my attitude, but God is so good, and His grace is sufficient for me! i am so pleased to be a part of this team, and even in the hard moments, it is so much MORE than worth it! i love you Lord, thank you for the opportunity, the privelege, to be living this life! thank you that you love me, and give me so many gifts that i am unworthy of!
so speaking of burma: i dont have time anymore to write everything ive learned about it, but click here for more info...and maybe something we can do about it?
and in conclusion...while were here, we will be doing a lot of open air evangelism, some prison minitry, english teaching, and im sure many other things we know not about yet!

songkron and dog

grrr! i just wrote a HUGE blog, and it didn't save! long story, so heres round two...im pressed for time, so hopefully i can get it all out....
songkron. its the thai new year celebration, and songkron means water festival. LOTS of water. so basically, people stand on the side of the road and throw buckets of water on you, and drive around in truck beds with barrels of water splashing you. well, drenching you. its a three day event, but up here in the north its a bit more rowdy, so were looking at a week of walking around soaked. our mode of transportation here is a truck, the bed is fitted with bench seats on either side and a covered soft top. there are bars holding us in, but its pretty open. and they just LOVE to soak farangs! (foreigners). so we've been wet for the last several days, and even though tomorrow is the official end, it'll still happen for the next few days a bit. not all of the team is happy about it either, but my take is that im in their country, immersing myself in their culture, so if that means im going to walk around wet for a week, so be it. and im loving it! i think its so funny, becuase its not a competitive,vindictive act, but a celebration. (fun fact: according to the thai calendar its the year 2551).
so, speaking of immersing ourselves in their culture...
we went to an ahka village the day before last, going around praying for a few homes and families, and as we walked into the last hut, they were chopping up meat. and then we saw the dog head laying next to it. no joke. they were chopping up dog! the family was getting ready to re-roof their house, and its a pretty big deal, and the neighbors pitch in, and they prepare a special meal for the occasion. DOG. and you want to know what? I ATE DOG!!! our entire team, minus one, ate it. some asked for seconds! there was a bone in mine (a little ironic) but i ate dog! and im proud of it. its so funny when you say oh i went to the philippines, i went to thailand, and people ask, what did you eat, dog? and now i can say, why YES, yes i did eat dog! it was disgusting that its head and innards were laying right next to it, but an experience i will NEVER forget.
the team is having a bit of a rough time the last few days, but i think im chalking it up to a mid-outreach slump (does such a thing exist?)
our living conditions are a bit less than comfortable, we are up in the hill country, and there are bugs everywhere. there is a ginormous black and white striped spider that lives in the rafters above our eating table. we named him owen. we fed him a headless moth last night. i have no idea what happened to its head. theres a friendly toad we named trevor, and countless huge beetles that love to fly under the bathroom door and buzz around your head. grr.
shoot, outta time. more to write, hopefully i can get to internet again really soon!
please pray that we would really grasp everything that God has for us here, and wouldn't waste our time, and that i would have endless love and patience, im having to work harder on it lately, my supply seems to be dwindling.
okay, more to come hopfully soon!

the land of a thousand smiles

holy pad thai batman, were in thailand! so last night we boarded a sleeper bus for a 14 hour overnight drive up to chiang rai, where we will be until the 16th. the bus departed at 6.30. where i promptly popped two dramamine, receieved some oj, a bottle of water and some pastries from the crew, and then fell into the sweet unconscience sleep dramamine afford you. at midnight we had our one stop and got food...at least, i think it was food. we got a bowl of soupy rice and some unidentifiable omething or other, but it wasnt bad. i still felt so cloudy and unaware due to the drugs that i didnt even care. when i got back on the bus i took two more dramamine, not so much because i was car-sick ((which i ALWAYS am, but wasnt this time) but becuase it knocks you out cold! i didnt really wake again until 7 this morning, overall i slept about 80 percent of the time, which was great!
the pastor (still cant pronounce his name) greeted us there, and our luggage went ahead of us in a truck while we walked in, chang rai is absolutely beautiful!! it is in northern thailand, and every bit as beautiful as i imagined! you know in movies, when they pan shots of country side in asain countries, and its always quiet, and green, and the vegetation is neatly kept and theres lots of cool new foliage to look at? its exactly like that!
while were here well be doing a bit of hiking, going ino three different villages, one focusing on children, the auka people (research them if you can, its fascinating!), and another one, bandu, or something? anyway, with that last one, well be going to another...waterfall! oh Lord. and i heard this one has pockets of deep water to swim in, but it doesnt sound all that impressive. i know it will be a fun and wonderful experience though, so im excited!
the thai are getting ready for songkran, the thai new year, and its all about water! the next everal days are ministry, but after that we have time off, becuase apparently the whole country does, and throws water on eachother! its such a big deal, that all of our contacts have talked about it, and said to watch what we wear, because they especially like to dump water on farangs, or foreigners. good thing i love water! on one of our days off, we will going to ride elephants! im sooo excited about that! well have an hour long ride along a river...paradise! the next day is water day, and fter that were going to the golden triangle, its the highest part of thailand, and it overlooks the threee borders of thailand, myanmar and laos, im so excited to see this, and to pray over the land of these three countries! that brings us to the end of our time there, where well be traveling to a stones throw away from the myanmar border, to the tak province. i have no idea what we will be doing there, but im ready!
while were here, we are staying at the House of Blessing, which takes children and teenagers from the vilalges and educates them both in schooling and in culture, then sends them back to their villages fro them to spread and teach their knowledge. i think that basically covers what it is, and it has been hugely successful in the last few decades that it has existed. every night we teach them english on-on-one, tonight was our first night and it seems our students were taught more thai then they taught english! but they seem very excited to get to know new people, and establish relationships with them, even if the language is minimal. Gary and I had a great time tonight talking and praying while they were doing english (my, for english being my best subject, my sentence structure is terrible!), its so nice to be with an experienced leader, he has so much insight and wisdom to offer! i kow i dont deserve this, the position i am, but Gods grace is soo sufficient! i love being in a position where i have nothing, i am nothing, i HAVE to rely on Him, and Him carrying me and guiding me through this, its so initmate! im always praying, always seeking His word for the day, or the moment, its just a wonderful place to be! though certainly not comfortable. but well worth it :)

sawatdeeka!

just wanted to send a quick update..im in thailand! we got in late last night, and im sooo happy to be here again! i just love walking down the street, remembering everything from the last time i was here, and directions and thai words keep coming back to me, i just feel so at peace and so happy here! were in bangkok at the moment, but tomorrow night we are headed on a sleeper bus for an overnight drive to chang rai, where we will be spending about a week and a half. were moving around a lot, and i have no idea about internet from here on out, but every chance i get i will be updating. funfact: were doing to do visa runs, which means im going into myanmar (formerlly burma) and cambodia! sooo stoked on that!
the food here is outrageous, i didnt realize i missed it so much! at dinner tonight i asked for my dish spicy, and im pretty sure im going to develop heartburn because of it! but its just sooo good! ah, the curry, the noodle dishes, the fruit shakes, the roti, its all outrageous! hope the hill tribes provide the same fare...(most likely not!)
i do miss the philippines, and all the luxuris it afforded (we stayed in a city the whole time, so we always had access to internet, shopping, and mcdonalds :), but i can hardly stand it i am so excited for the next phase of this! the last night we were there, the base had a family night, and we all sang and danced, and they presented us with a plaque, thanking us for all the work we did with and for them. they said a few words, and when i got up, i got so choked up i couldnt speak, which really surprised me. i just feel so honored and blessed that i got to be a part of their family for even a short time, and i am lookign forward to the new family members i will aquire along the way here! thank you so much for your faithful prayers and support, please continue to pray for Gods grace and abounding love as i lead this team, it gets hard. but its all worth it! i love my team and i love thailand!

mabuhay philippines and sawadeeka thailand!

so im in an internet cafe in asias largest mall, and the third largest in the world, writing my final blog while in the philippines. we head to the airport in a few short hours to travel across the east china sea and i think part of the gulf of thailand, heading to, well...thailand! we will be spending seven weeks there doing a WHOLE lot of stuff! more to come on that as it happens.
as i reflect back on my time here, i feel that the few short minutes i have here (gary is waiting semi-patiently behind me) is not nearly adequate enough to express everything i want to say...but i will try. when i think about our first day here, and everything that has happened, it feels like it should have been at least 6 months. i am so proud of everything my team has accomplished, from going out to the bars at night to build relationships with girls, and then seeing them come to the base in search of support and help is defintely the highlight. whenever they did any of the skits/dramas, my heart just soared with pride that they are all so willing to jump in and get the job done, and with a smile too! i must say though, i think what i will miss most about the philippines is...the mangoes! im not even kidding, i cant begin to describe just how wonderfully perfect the mangoes here are! we eat them everyday, and i havent gotton even a little sick of them! they are just these delectable, juicy, sweet bites of heaven. i definitely think mangoes will be in heaven. from the hike to the hill tribe, to helping hands (an orphanage for abandoned children, primarily becuase of deformities and handicapps), to working with street children and prostitutes, our team has done a good job. i feel that Jesus is proud of the work they have done! as i think ahead to thailand, i feel a bit more confident about my leadership skills, because i have been there before and know what to expect, and can pray strategically for the students, and over the land.
shoot. i really have to go...there is so much more i want to say though!! grr....okay, part two to come later...