mondays.
sheesh.
now i get why the working world dreads them. its not so much that the weekend is over and its back to work, its that there are simply not enough hours in the day to get everything done!ss
this past year i have been doing different things each season, and every time, every monday, there are just not enough hours in which to start and/or finish everything in. sometimes you just have to let it go. but thats just so hard!
this summer things are especially hectic. but i guess it is all worth it in the end...because friday's are half days!
sheesh.
mondays.
so the end of this summer marks a new beginning season in my life. a big one.
im going back to school...school!
for the last six months i have felt like God has been speaking to me about going back to school, about finishing what ive started, and honoring my parents, for them my getting a college education is a really big deal, and i really want to fulfill their desires.
everything is lining up, and august 16th i am moving home to start school again. going through the process of signing up for classes and talking with a counselor has been interesting, and though i do feel a little bit old to be going through this again, im so glad the time has come to go back to school.
when i first started, i didn't take it seriously, messed around and didn't know what i wanted to do. now that im several years older, im ready to take this seriously, and i am really looking forward to opening my brain and dumping in a ton of information.
there is no one thing that i want to do for the rest of my life, there is just so much out there that i want to experience! i don't think that we were created to do just one thing for our entire lives. there is just so much out there in the world that is ours to take and experience!
all that to say, im pretty sure that the degree i want to pursue (either social science or english lit.) will have nothing to do, at least in whole, with the rest of my life.
i have seen to much of the world to not want to take advantage of the education that is mine for the taking, it just doesn't factor in that i wouldn't receive the education that is so freely open to me.
im looking forward to this change, but im also a little sad at the thought of leaving this place.
new adventure, set before me...im ready!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
secular and sacred?
so theres this unspoken rule when it comes to religion that defines the difference between "secular" and "sacred". everything we do is either one of these. when we go to church sunday morning, it is sacred, when we are in our car sitting in traffic on our way to work, its secular. when we say our nightly prayers, it is sacred, and when we go out on the town it is secular. at least, this is always how we have viewed daily life. separation between church and state...written into our constitution.
i would like to propose (though there have been hundreds before me, im sure) a new train of thought: there is no difference.
let me back up. lets define the words secular and sacred. according to dictionary.com;
secular:
sacred:
they are definitive, and very different.
back to the new train of thought.
no difference.
i believe that no matter what we are doing, saying, listening to, hearing, reading, or any other -ing im forgetting, we can be worshiping God.
to demonstrate this, i would like to show you the lyrics to coldplay's new song, viva la vida:
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead, long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, my shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string (Ooooh)
Ah, who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh
(repeat with chorus)
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, my shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooooh Oooooooh Oooooooh
if you dissect these lyrics, or look at them with eyes to see, you can see many layers of what he is singing about, the least of which is jesus, in my opinion.
that is the beauty of songs, you can interpret them however you wish, because they are a form of art, and art tends to be open to interpretation...but this is another discussion for another day.
i was listening to the radio the other day, and this song came on, and as i was listening, really listening, i was struck by how a hugely mainstream "secular" artist could write such profoundly spiritual lyrics. perhaps they are not as secular as the trend is to think?
im not really sure where i am wanting to go with this, so i will end with a proposal;
i propose to you that today when you listen to the radio, open your ears in a new way and listen for the deeper meaning. when you watch a movie, see if there is a deeper, semi-hidden message the author is trying to convey. and look inside a bible, because it is so surprising the themes we find in there that we find over and over again in daily life.
this video is by sigur ros, an icelandic, 'secular' band...
i would like to propose (though there have been hundreds before me, im sure) a new train of thought: there is no difference.
let me back up. lets define the words secular and sacred. according to dictionary.com;
secular:
| 1. | of or pertaining to worldly things or to things that are not regarded as religious, spiritual, or sacred; temporal: secular interests. |
| 2. | not pertaining to or connected with religion (opposed to sacred): secular music. |
| 3. | (of education, a school, etc.) concerned with nonreligious subjects. |
sacred:
| 1. | devoted or dedicated to a deity or to some religious purpose; consecrated. |
| 2. | entitled to veneration or religious respect by association with divinity or divine things; holy. |
| 3. | pertaining to or connected with religion (opposed to secular or profane): sacred music; sacred books. |
they are definitive, and very different.
back to the new train of thought.
no difference.
i believe that no matter what we are doing, saying, listening to, hearing, reading, or any other -ing im forgetting, we can be worshiping God.
to demonstrate this, i would like to show you the lyrics to coldplay's new song, viva la vida:
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead, long live the king!"
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, my shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string (Ooooh)
Ah, who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh
(repeat with chorus)
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword, my shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooooh Oooooooh Oooooooh
if you dissect these lyrics, or look at them with eyes to see, you can see many layers of what he is singing about, the least of which is jesus, in my opinion.
that is the beauty of songs, you can interpret them however you wish, because they are a form of art, and art tends to be open to interpretation...but this is another discussion for another day.
i was listening to the radio the other day, and this song came on, and as i was listening, really listening, i was struck by how a hugely mainstream "secular" artist could write such profoundly spiritual lyrics. perhaps they are not as secular as the trend is to think?
im not really sure where i am wanting to go with this, so i will end with a proposal;
i propose to you that today when you listen to the radio, open your ears in a new way and listen for the deeper meaning. when you watch a movie, see if there is a deeper, semi-hidden message the author is trying to convey. and look inside a bible, because it is so surprising the themes we find in there that we find over and over again in daily life.
this video is by sigur ros, an icelandic, 'secular' band...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
God is a God of ordinary days...
so i was at the gas station today, and as i was watching a million dollars fly out of the pump (doesn't it really feel like that nowadays?) i realized that my tires could use a little air. i drive my car over to the air and water pump, and paid 75 cents for the air i breathe. but it didn't start. so i go in, ask him to turn it on, and with a glare he does. but then the hose was stuck, i couldn't get it to go more than three feet. so i go in again, and kindly explain to the man that the hose is stuck and i cant get it out, and after staring at me with a blank look and a shrug of the shoulders, a man in line offers to help me out.
as you read that, was your first thought, "run away, quick, don't trust him!" mine sure was. he was an hispanic middle-aged man who has worked with his hands in the sun his whole life. and im pretty sure he was missing a few teeth. my instinct was to slam the door shut and peel out, but i fought it, and said, okay, as my feet were already following him out the door. my brain was doing battle, do i trust him or not? i always felt like, in the situation, i would rather hurt someones feelings by being guarded and not trusting them, rather than get myself into major trouble, but when i was faced with reality, i decided to choose the path of Jesus, and do unto others. i decided i was going to trust him, because even though i live in the middle of the valley, it was broad daylight and there were a million cars in line. and if i wanted to help someone out, i would want them to trust me.
so he helps me get the hose unstuck, and insists on filling my tires for me. now my first thought was, "he wants money." how pathetic of me. he didn't, of course, but if he did, shouldn't i be able to offer a few dollars to a kind gentleman helping out a lady? he was very nice, and when i called him sir he protested, saying it made him feel old. when the air ran out before we were finished, he went in and insisted that the air get turned back on, without me having to pay anything. he said that for as much business as he gives them (i wonder how many cars he has?), they can do him a favor too. and they did. a bit petulantly, if you ask me, but what can you expect from a gas station attendant? im sure with the price of gas today his customers as less than thrilled when they see him, so really, who can blame him entirely? he got the air turned on twice more for me, i would have had to pay $2.25 for stupid AIR otherwise. im fully against the idea of having to pay for air, it sounds so ridiculous i can hardly get the sentence out. anyway, the man helps me, saves me a dollar, and all ends well. as i was driving away, i was thinking about who i am, the kind of person who instantly judges someone by the stories they've heard, and is on guard at all times. i don't want people to be on guard when they are around me, so shouldn't i show trust to others? how else are we going to change this world?
the bible says that the only way people will know we are "christians" is by our love. i hope that today i showed a little bit more faith to one man than he probably gets in a month. (i use " " around christians, because i hesitate to use that word to define myself...this is a whole 'nother blog...historically christians haven't done a very good job showing jesus to people, but rather making them run farther away, and i don't want to be like that. i don't want to be associated with hellfire and brimstone protestors, soap-box preachers, and televangelists that only want your money. im not trying to speak ill of them, because they have a message too, but i am saying that i am a person of love, or i desire to be, and that, above all else, is what i want to shine through.)
as i was on the freeway, on my way home from running errands, an older black suburban drove by me. now, you know how you can by those stupid fake bullet holes to put on your car? well, this guy had a bunch on his, only...they were real!!! real bullet holes!!! it was not the most pleasant of images, but i did find a little irony that on the 118 i saw what most people see on the news. well.
as you read that, was your first thought, "run away, quick, don't trust him!" mine sure was. he was an hispanic middle-aged man who has worked with his hands in the sun his whole life. and im pretty sure he was missing a few teeth. my instinct was to slam the door shut and peel out, but i fought it, and said, okay, as my feet were already following him out the door. my brain was doing battle, do i trust him or not? i always felt like, in the situation, i would rather hurt someones feelings by being guarded and not trusting them, rather than get myself into major trouble, but when i was faced with reality, i decided to choose the path of Jesus, and do unto others. i decided i was going to trust him, because even though i live in the middle of the valley, it was broad daylight and there were a million cars in line. and if i wanted to help someone out, i would want them to trust me.
so he helps me get the hose unstuck, and insists on filling my tires for me. now my first thought was, "he wants money." how pathetic of me. he didn't, of course, but if he did, shouldn't i be able to offer a few dollars to a kind gentleman helping out a lady? he was very nice, and when i called him sir he protested, saying it made him feel old. when the air ran out before we were finished, he went in and insisted that the air get turned back on, without me having to pay anything. he said that for as much business as he gives them (i wonder how many cars he has?), they can do him a favor too. and they did. a bit petulantly, if you ask me, but what can you expect from a gas station attendant? im sure with the price of gas today his customers as less than thrilled when they see him, so really, who can blame him entirely? he got the air turned on twice more for me, i would have had to pay $2.25 for stupid AIR otherwise. im fully against the idea of having to pay for air, it sounds so ridiculous i can hardly get the sentence out. anyway, the man helps me, saves me a dollar, and all ends well. as i was driving away, i was thinking about who i am, the kind of person who instantly judges someone by the stories they've heard, and is on guard at all times. i don't want people to be on guard when they are around me, so shouldn't i show trust to others? how else are we going to change this world?
the bible says that the only way people will know we are "christians" is by our love. i hope that today i showed a little bit more faith to one man than he probably gets in a month. (i use " " around christians, because i hesitate to use that word to define myself...this is a whole 'nother blog...historically christians haven't done a very good job showing jesus to people, but rather making them run farther away, and i don't want to be like that. i don't want to be associated with hellfire and brimstone protestors, soap-box preachers, and televangelists that only want your money. im not trying to speak ill of them, because they have a message too, but i am saying that i am a person of love, or i desire to be, and that, above all else, is what i want to shine through.)
as i was on the freeway, on my way home from running errands, an older black suburban drove by me. now, you know how you can by those stupid fake bullet holes to put on your car? well, this guy had a bunch on his, only...they were real!!! real bullet holes!!! it was not the most pleasant of images, but i did find a little irony that on the 118 i saw what most people see on the news. well.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
outreach video
i couldn't figure out how to get the video to show here, so click here to watch the slide show we put together to display a small piece of what our outreach looked like. enjoy...and let me know what you think!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
relationships.
im beginning to understand more fully just how important, how vital, relationships are to our daily lives. to be free, to be sustained, to feel like you are really living, you need relationships. god created us for that! and the best thing about it is when they reflect his character. think about it: god the father, son and holy spirit. (ok so theres this whole three-in-one thing that is just a mystery to us...if you are frustrated when it comes to mysteries of god, check out ecclesiastes 3:11) the three are in relationship to each other. perfect relationship, self sustaining, needing nothing, because it is made out of perfect love. and out of the overflow of that perfect love? us. humans.
what a gift, to be in community with others. ive complained a lot about how hard it is to live this life, everything we do seems pretty extreme. and it gets hard. but for all the hard there is so much good, and thats something ive been thinking about lately.
this life is hard, you spend five solid months pouring everything you have into others, opening your heart for all to see, and you share it, praying that it will be well received, and not hurt. and sometimes it is. but you still press on, and press in, completely leaving yourself vulnerable, because that is the only position you can be in. it is the only thing that can bring success. then you leave the country for two months, and live in harsh conditions, where absolutely everything about yourself, the people with you, and god is magnified and way more intense than normal. you adjust to this, adjust to having less, seeing heart-breaking sights everyday. then some plane rides later, bam. you're back in the states, having to re-adjust to everything you've known as normal your whole entire life, and its a lot harder than you think. except its a little bit different now. you find yourself realizing that so many things are unnecessary. there is so much more out there than your little world, and you want everyone to know about it! you want to share your experiences with others, but find that they just don't understand, and sometimes, just aren't interested. then, staying here, you live inside a bubble, where everyone is similar to you, as far as vision and experience goes. living in community with other believers, sharing your lives; good, bad, ugly. this cycle repeats itself year after year, and you find yourself going numb to the goodbye process, making it short and quick, less you allow yourself to experience the hurt that comes with saying goodbye to someone so dear and special to you, who has been a huge part of your life, and growth.
this, in part (because truly, how can i fully describe what my life is? you just have to come here and experience it for yourself) is what my life is like. and you want to know something? for all the pain, it is so worth it, and i feel like i don't deserve to be a part of this, because who am i? and that is grace. it makes life unfair. what a wonderful state to live in.
and back to relationships. i cant imagine a life without people in it, adding to and expanding my life experiences. my life is so much fuller and richer because of the people in it, and i know that no matter where i go, i will always surround myself with people, because people are what its all about. loving god, and loving people. that is all we are asked to do. and what fun it can be besides!
when you look deep inside yourself, really far down, to the place below the place where you can lie to yourself, you will see the same, that you crave people to surround you. im not talking constantly, all the time, no breaks, never alone, no alone time. but as a whole, we need people. we do.
and the next thought i think is about the type of people i surround myself with. the first thing i know is that i need people who challenge me. who challenge me to be a better person, challenge my thoughts and beliefs, because then they can become my own. people who challenge life, because i am so prone to just go with the flow and question nothing.
i will always surround myself with people who love jesus, because i know that no matter what happens, we can depend on that commonality to get us through.
i want to always surround myself with people who don't believe in or know jesus, because i want to always be sharing the love and truth that i have found. what they do with it is up to them, but i cant hide this love!
this video isn't the greatest, but its the best version of the song i could find. as i was writing this, this song kept playing itself in my head, so i thought i would share. the artist is keith green, who ministered in the seventies and part of the eighties. his story is worth reading about, and if you are interested, click here to find out more. this song is one of my favorites, its fun and silly, and speaks so much truth. enjoy!
what a gift, to be in community with others. ive complained a lot about how hard it is to live this life, everything we do seems pretty extreme. and it gets hard. but for all the hard there is so much good, and thats something ive been thinking about lately.
this life is hard, you spend five solid months pouring everything you have into others, opening your heart for all to see, and you share it, praying that it will be well received, and not hurt. and sometimes it is. but you still press on, and press in, completely leaving yourself vulnerable, because that is the only position you can be in. it is the only thing that can bring success. then you leave the country for two months, and live in harsh conditions, where absolutely everything about yourself, the people with you, and god is magnified and way more intense than normal. you adjust to this, adjust to having less, seeing heart-breaking sights everyday. then some plane rides later, bam. you're back in the states, having to re-adjust to everything you've known as normal your whole entire life, and its a lot harder than you think. except its a little bit different now. you find yourself realizing that so many things are unnecessary. there is so much more out there than your little world, and you want everyone to know about it! you want to share your experiences with others, but find that they just don't understand, and sometimes, just aren't interested. then, staying here, you live inside a bubble, where everyone is similar to you, as far as vision and experience goes. living in community with other believers, sharing your lives; good, bad, ugly. this cycle repeats itself year after year, and you find yourself going numb to the goodbye process, making it short and quick, less you allow yourself to experience the hurt that comes with saying goodbye to someone so dear and special to you, who has been a huge part of your life, and growth.
this, in part (because truly, how can i fully describe what my life is? you just have to come here and experience it for yourself) is what my life is like. and you want to know something? for all the pain, it is so worth it, and i feel like i don't deserve to be a part of this, because who am i? and that is grace. it makes life unfair. what a wonderful state to live in.
and back to relationships. i cant imagine a life without people in it, adding to and expanding my life experiences. my life is so much fuller and richer because of the people in it, and i know that no matter where i go, i will always surround myself with people, because people are what its all about. loving god, and loving people. that is all we are asked to do. and what fun it can be besides!
when you look deep inside yourself, really far down, to the place below the place where you can lie to yourself, you will see the same, that you crave people to surround you. im not talking constantly, all the time, no breaks, never alone, no alone time. but as a whole, we need people. we do.
and the next thought i think is about the type of people i surround myself with. the first thing i know is that i need people who challenge me. who challenge me to be a better person, challenge my thoughts and beliefs, because then they can become my own. people who challenge life, because i am so prone to just go with the flow and question nothing.
i will always surround myself with people who love jesus, because i know that no matter what happens, we can depend on that commonality to get us through.
i want to always surround myself with people who don't believe in or know jesus, because i want to always be sharing the love and truth that i have found. what they do with it is up to them, but i cant hide this love!
this video isn't the greatest, but its the best version of the song i could find. as i was writing this, this song kept playing itself in my head, so i thought i would share. the artist is keith green, who ministered in the seventies and part of the eighties. his story is worth reading about, and if you are interested, click here to find out more. this song is one of my favorites, its fun and silly, and speaks so much truth. enjoy!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
life back at the base: low, quiet, and most welcome. this summer will find me hiding out in the office, away from the desert heat. its been two weeks since ive returned to the states, but it feels like two months. its been surprisingly hard to readjust to life here, which i was not expecting. a lot of things just seem so unnecessary and wasteful to me, but all i can do is find my own balance of whats okay for me. the biggest difference? gas prices! when i left it was just under three dollars...now its way over four! in ten weeks! im not driving anymore. i refuse. tonight my roommates and i had a quiet night at home, eating dinner and watching tv, we watched celebrity circus, and i hate to admit it, but i kind of like it! the company was better :)
so this is pretty much a waste of a blog, and ive had nothing interesting lately, i apologize for that, i promise, i will get my head on straight and start writing something worth reading!
so this is pretty much a waste of a blog, and ive had nothing interesting lately, i apologize for that, i promise, i will get my head on straight and start writing something worth reading!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
moving on.
a sigh of relief. breathing easier. whew.
ive been home a few days now, and its been wonderful being amongst family, letting them take care of me and make decisions for me, take the lead in all and let me sit back and ride along. he last three months were way too full of decisions, now im enjoying not having to be quite so responsible. God has really met me and carried me through the heart/gut-wrenching process of saying goodbye, and letting go of the last five months. he has helped me to really get to a place where im not on the verge of tears or screaming really quickly, and i am so grateful! im getting ready for the next phase, summer, and im looking forward to being with my roommates, hiding out in our house from all the heat, a slower pace for the next couple months. i have no idea what the next season of life has to offer me, i have no idea where i will be, or what i will be doing, but i do know that it is only with God that i want to do it! everything else just isn't enough, nothing is as satisfying or fulfilling as being in the will of God, nothing is as fun or exciting, how could i try to do anything else? i don't want to! ive never found the peace, love, and fulfillment of life in anything other than God, and what an exciting and thrilling life!
:)
ive been home a few days now, and its been wonderful being amongst family, letting them take care of me and make decisions for me, take the lead in all and let me sit back and ride along. he last three months were way too full of decisions, now im enjoying not having to be quite so responsible. God has really met me and carried me through the heart/gut-wrenching process of saying goodbye, and letting go of the last five months. he has helped me to really get to a place where im not on the verge of tears or screaming really quickly, and i am so grateful! im getting ready for the next phase, summer, and im looking forward to being with my roommates, hiding out in our house from all the heat, a slower pace for the next couple months. i have no idea what the next season of life has to offer me, i have no idea where i will be, or what i will be doing, but i do know that it is only with God that i want to do it! everything else just isn't enough, nothing is as satisfying or fulfilling as being in the will of God, nothing is as fun or exciting, how could i try to do anything else? i don't want to! ive never found the peace, love, and fulfillment of life in anything other than God, and what an exciting and thrilling life!
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
