I am 23 years old, I will be 24 in 4 months, but for the first time today, I fully realized my adulthood.
What brought on this sudden realization, something which I should have been attuned to oh, say, 5 years ago??
String Cheese.
Yup. No typo.
String Cheese.
I was eating lunch, and just about finished, halfway through the cheese. I realized that I wasn't stringing it like you so obviously are supposed to, but just, eating it, like 'normal'. Part of the reason is that I didn't have TIME to consume it with the enjoyment that is the purpose of said cheese. All I could do was read my book, and think about all the stuff I have to do today...File some forms, create some spreadsheets, make an agenda for a meeting, run some errands, hit the gym...no time for stringing cheese there!
You can no longer be a kid if you can't string the cheese.
Man.
I'm pretty bummed out.
By the way, String Cheese tastes totally different when you don't string it.
And now 'string' doesn't even look like a word anymore.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
When life happens.
When I moved home, I thought I would get a full-time job, and work with the youth at church a bit. I didn't expect two jobs instead! What an incredibly perfect place I am in though. Letting God take control of your life is the perfect position to be in, everything is always as it should be, (when we can let go enough and truly let His will be done, even when its hard), and is so much better when you bow down, and let Him be lifted up and glorified, and take control of your life.
Here is something I thought would never happen in my life: Becoming a Youth Leader. I guess I can check that one off my list? Granted, it is a very temporary position, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
It is just so interesting to me to see how God works. I obviously have some sort of burden for today's teenagers, but why would God give me this job? What is He doing? I kind of love being in the position of now knowing exactly what God' will is, because now I get to pray and seek out exactly what His purpose is, and man, do I have to be active about this one!
It is funny looking back on the time line of my life, at least in the recent past, and see all the way's God has been preparing me for this. Working with the School of Ministry Development (which is basically learning how to be a leader), staffing DTS and leading outreach, working with Mission Adventures, I can see several specific lessons I learned in each of these things that will directly influence me now. Funny how God takes you through something, and you have no idea why, and then some time later you are in the midst of something else, and the light bulb goes off; "Oh, I get it!"
I really feel excited and a bit in awe about this new development. One thing I know for sure: I could not do this without the help of the volunteer team. Paul (well, ok, the LORD) has put together and incredibly gifted team of passionate people who love our teenagers, and I certainly couldn't do this without their time and devotion to the ministry. Which, by the way, I'm not really, Josh (who I've known practically my whole life, and truly is my little brother) is in the boat with me, and man, thank you God for such a gifted person! I am so excited too see all the different talents and gifts really be given a chance to shine and be developed firther in our team, we all have so much to offer, and I am grateful for the opportunity for everyone to shine the light that God has placed in them.
My days have gone from maybe working several hours a few days a week to overtime. And school is starting next week! My plate is over-flowing, and that is such a blessing. I hope I can maintain that attitude when the going gets rough though!
So of course I have to mention my favorite topic of discussion...Missions. So we get to plan the Mission Trip for this summer, which incredibly excites me! I will be totally honest here, I want to see this trip go international. I want to pray about it and hear God say some amazing country that is in need of this specific group of teenagers to go and care for it's hurting people. I'm afraid though, that in this time in our church, I would be met with all resistance. Bottom line. Pretty lame, right? Really, it comes down to what the Lord is saying, that is all that truly matters, but yeah. I think we'll be going Urban America this year, and that is quite all right with me. There is always next summer. :)
Here is something I thought would never happen in my life: Becoming a Youth Leader. I guess I can check that one off my list? Granted, it is a very temporary position, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
It is just so interesting to me to see how God works. I obviously have some sort of burden for today's teenagers, but why would God give me this job? What is He doing? I kind of love being in the position of now knowing exactly what God' will is, because now I get to pray and seek out exactly what His purpose is, and man, do I have to be active about this one!
It is funny looking back on the time line of my life, at least in the recent past, and see all the way's God has been preparing me for this. Working with the School of Ministry Development (which is basically learning how to be a leader), staffing DTS and leading outreach, working with Mission Adventures, I can see several specific lessons I learned in each of these things that will directly influence me now. Funny how God takes you through something, and you have no idea why, and then some time later you are in the midst of something else, and the light bulb goes off; "Oh, I get it!"
I really feel excited and a bit in awe about this new development. One thing I know for sure: I could not do this without the help of the volunteer team. Paul (well, ok, the LORD) has put together and incredibly gifted team of passionate people who love our teenagers, and I certainly couldn't do this without their time and devotion to the ministry. Which, by the way, I'm not really, Josh (who I've known practically my whole life, and truly is my little brother) is in the boat with me, and man, thank you God for such a gifted person! I am so excited too see all the different talents and gifts really be given a chance to shine and be developed firther in our team, we all have so much to offer, and I am grateful for the opportunity for everyone to shine the light that God has placed in them.
My days have gone from maybe working several hours a few days a week to overtime. And school is starting next week! My plate is over-flowing, and that is such a blessing. I hope I can maintain that attitude when the going gets rough though!
So of course I have to mention my favorite topic of discussion...Missions. So we get to plan the Mission Trip for this summer, which incredibly excites me! I will be totally honest here, I want to see this trip go international. I want to pray about it and hear God say some amazing country that is in need of this specific group of teenagers to go and care for it's hurting people. I'm afraid though, that in this time in our church, I would be met with all resistance. Bottom line. Pretty lame, right? Really, it comes down to what the Lord is saying, that is all that truly matters, but yeah. I think we'll be going Urban America this year, and that is quite all right with me. There is always next summer. :)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Insides
For a while (you may have noticed) I had stopped updating, as a semi-conscious protest to the fact that I am no longer traveling the world. If I'm not out there having exciting adventures and experiencing new things, what the heck am I supposed to write about?
Every day is an adventure, and every day has something worth writing about, so while I am not committing to writing every day (thought that would be lovely), I am re-committing to keeping this updated much more often, updating my thoughts, struggles, revelations, and funny thoughts.
Tonight finds me effortlessly more busy than when I first moved home. I still have my part-time job, I'm still working with the youth at church (I'm sure I will be writing much more about that very very soon), and school is starting soon! I can not even begin to describe HOW EXCITED I am to go back to school! 4 years ago I left, and I am over-excited at the thought of going back, taking it seriously, and learning learning learning, all day long. Well, not really all day long, I only have three classes, but still. It is kind of a bummer that I am 23 and still in Community College, but I for not one second regret that fact, I've done some pretty cool things in the meanwhile, and I have definitely not been wasting my time, or life.
The biggest thing I have been going through lately is the struggle that I am alone. I have had all these experiences, I have learned all these things, I have this whole entire side of me that no one knows or understands. I want to share it, I want people to understand what I've truly been through, what I've seen, but at the same time, I only want to share all of that with people who TRULY want to know, who ask and mean it when they say, "How was it? What was it like?" I have only had one person, one, honestly want to know that side of me, since I've come home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm blaming anyone, or throwing accusations around, or accusing people of not caring, because that is just not true. It is simply that people can't care about something they don't understand or have had experience with. I know I am not alone, and I know that everyone in my life truly cares for and loves me (um, pretty sure they wouldn't bother being in my life if they didn't :), and I know that. Bottom line. Sometimes it just feels lonely, being the only one, correction, feeling like the only one carrying with me what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I am two people, YWAM Katie, and Home Katie. I don't know how to reconcile the both of those and create one cohesive person, without leaving others behind, offending others, or losing part of me. I know that doesn't make much sense...I am merely writing down things that first come into my head. I would love to talk deeper about it if you want to though.
Getting to the core of it, most desperately the desire of my heart is beautifully summed up in this song slash video...
Every day is an adventure, and every day has something worth writing about, so while I am not committing to writing every day (thought that would be lovely), I am re-committing to keeping this updated much more often, updating my thoughts, struggles, revelations, and funny thoughts.
Tonight finds me effortlessly more busy than when I first moved home. I still have my part-time job, I'm still working with the youth at church (I'm sure I will be writing much more about that very very soon), and school is starting soon! I can not even begin to describe HOW EXCITED I am to go back to school! 4 years ago I left, and I am over-excited at the thought of going back, taking it seriously, and learning learning learning, all day long. Well, not really all day long, I only have three classes, but still. It is kind of a bummer that I am 23 and still in Community College, but I for not one second regret that fact, I've done some pretty cool things in the meanwhile, and I have definitely not been wasting my time, or life.
The biggest thing I have been going through lately is the struggle that I am alone. I have had all these experiences, I have learned all these things, I have this whole entire side of me that no one knows or understands. I want to share it, I want people to understand what I've truly been through, what I've seen, but at the same time, I only want to share all of that with people who TRULY want to know, who ask and mean it when they say, "How was it? What was it like?" I have only had one person, one, honestly want to know that side of me, since I've come home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm blaming anyone, or throwing accusations around, or accusing people of not caring, because that is just not true. It is simply that people can't care about something they don't understand or have had experience with. I know I am not alone, and I know that everyone in my life truly cares for and loves me (um, pretty sure they wouldn't bother being in my life if they didn't :), and I know that. Bottom line. Sometimes it just feels lonely, being the only one, correction, feeling like the only one carrying with me what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I am two people, YWAM Katie, and Home Katie. I don't know how to reconcile the both of those and create one cohesive person, without leaving others behind, offending others, or losing part of me. I know that doesn't make much sense...I am merely writing down things that first come into my head. I would love to talk deeper about it if you want to though.
Getting to the core of it, most desperately the desire of my heart is beautifully summed up in this song slash video...
For a while (you may have noticed) I had stopped updating, as a semi-conscious protest to the fact that I am no longer traveling the world. If I'm not out there having exciting adventures and experiencing new things, what the heck am I supposed to write about?
Every day is an adventure, and every day has something worth writing about, so while I am not committing to writing every day (thought that would be lovely), I am re-committing to keeping this updated much more often, updating my thoughts, struggles, revelations, and funny thoughts.
Tonight finds me effortlessly more busy than when I first moved home. I still have my part-time job, I'm still working with the youth at church (I'm sure I will be writing much more about that very very soon), and school is starting soon! I can not even begin to describe HOW EXCITED I am to go back to school! 4 years ago I left, and I am over-excited at the thought of going back, taking it seriously, and learning learning learning, all day long. Well, not really all day long, I only have three classes, but still. It is kind of a bummer that I am 23 and still in Community College, but I for not one second regret that fact, I've done some pretty cool things in the meanwhile, and I have definitely not been wasting my time, or life.
The biggest thing I have been going through lately is the struggle that I am alone. I have had all these experiences, I have learned all these things, I have this whole entire side of me that no one knows or understands. I want to share it, I want people to understand what I've truly been through, what I've seen, but at the same time, I only want to share all of that with people who TRULY want to know, who ask and mean it when they say, "How was it? What was it like?" I have only had one person, one, honestly want to know that side of me, since I've come home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm blaming anyone, or throwing accusations around, or accusing people of not caring, because that is just not true. It is simply that people can't care about something they don't understand or have had experience with. I know I am not alone, and I know that everyone in my life truly cares for and loves me (um, pretty sure they wouldn't bother being in my life if they didn't :), and I know that. Bottom line. Sometimes it just feels lonely, being the only one, correction, feeling like the only one carrying with me what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I am two people, YWAM Katie, and Home Katie. I don't know how to reconcile the both of those and create one cohesive person, without leaving others behind, offending others, or losing part of me. I know that doesn't make much sense...I am merely writing down things that first come into my head. I would love to talk deeper about it if you want to though.
Every day is an adventure, and every day has something worth writing about, so while I am not committing to writing every day (thought that would be lovely), I am re-committing to keeping this updated much more often, updating my thoughts, struggles, revelations, and funny thoughts.
Tonight finds me effortlessly more busy than when I first moved home. I still have my part-time job, I'm still working with the youth at church (I'm sure I will be writing much more about that very very soon), and school is starting soon! I can not even begin to describe HOW EXCITED I am to go back to school! 4 years ago I left, and I am over-excited at the thought of going back, taking it seriously, and learning learning learning, all day long. Well, not really all day long, I only have three classes, but still. It is kind of a bummer that I am 23 and still in Community College, but I for not one second regret that fact, I've done some pretty cool things in the meanwhile, and I have definitely not been wasting my time, or life.
The biggest thing I have been going through lately is the struggle that I am alone. I have had all these experiences, I have learned all these things, I have this whole entire side of me that no one knows or understands. I want to share it, I want people to understand what I've truly been through, what I've seen, but at the same time, I only want to share all of that with people who TRULY want to know, who ask and mean it when they say, "How was it? What was it like?" I have only had one person, one, honestly want to know that side of me, since I've come home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm blaming anyone, or throwing accusations around, or accusing people of not caring, because that is just not true. It is simply that people can't care about something they don't understand or have had experience with. I know I am not alone, and I know that everyone in my life truly cares for and loves me (um, pretty sure they wouldn't bother being in my life if they didn't :), and I know that. Bottom line. Sometimes it just feels lonely, being the only one, correction, feeling like the only one carrying with me what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I am two people, YWAM Katie, and Home Katie. I don't know how to reconcile the both of those and create one cohesive person, without leaving others behind, offending others, or losing part of me. I know that doesn't make much sense...I am merely writing down things that first come into my head. I would love to talk deeper about it if you want to though.
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