For a while (you may have noticed) I had stopped updating, as a semi-conscious protest to the fact that I am no longer traveling the world. If I'm not out there having exciting adventures and experiencing new things, what the heck am I supposed to write about?
Every day is an adventure, and every day has something worth writing about, so while I am not committing to writing every day (thought that would be lovely), I am re-committing to keeping this updated much more often, updating my thoughts, struggles, revelations, and funny thoughts.

Tonight finds me effortlessly more busy than when I first moved home. I still have my part-time job, I'm still working with the youth at church (I'm sure I will be writing much more about that very very soon), and school is starting soon! I can not even begin to describe HOW EXCITED I am to go back to school! 4 years ago I left, and I am over-excited at the thought of going back, taking it seriously, and learning learning learning, all day long. Well, not really all day long, I only have three classes, but still. It is kind of a bummer that I am 23 and still in Community College, but I for not one second regret that fact, I've done some pretty cool things in the meanwhile, and I have definitely not been wasting my time, or life.

The biggest thing I have been going through lately is the struggle that I am alone. I have had all these experiences, I have learned all these things, I have this whole entire side of me that no one knows or understands. I want to share it, I want people to understand what I've truly been through, what I've seen, but at the same time, I only want to share all of that with people who TRULY want to know, who ask and mean it when they say, "How was it? What was it like?" I have only had one person, one, honestly want to know that side of me, since I've come home. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm blaming anyone, or throwing accusations around, or accusing people of not caring, because that is just not true. It is simply that people can't care about something they don't understand or have had experience with. I know I am not alone, and I know that everyone in my life truly cares for and loves me (um, pretty sure they wouldn't bother being in my life if they didn't :), and I know that. Bottom line. Sometimes it just feels lonely, being the only one, correction, feeling like the only one carrying with me what I do.
Sometimes I feel like I am two people, YWAM Katie, and Home Katie. I don't know how to reconcile the both of those and create one cohesive person, without leaving others behind, offending others, or losing part of me. I know that doesn't make much sense...I am merely writing down things that first come into my head. I would love to talk deeper about it if you want to though.