relationships.

im beginning to understand more fully just how important, how vital, relationships are to our daily lives. to be free, to be sustained, to feel like you are really living, you need relationships. god created us for that! and the best thing about it is when they reflect his character. think about it: god the father, son and holy spirit. (ok so theres this whole three-in-one thing that is just a mystery to us...if you are frustrated when it comes to mysteries of god, check out ecclesiastes 3:11) the three are in relationship to each other. perfect relationship, self sustaining, needing nothing, because it is made out of perfect love. and out of the overflow of that perfect love? us. humans.

what a gift, to be in community with others. ive complained a lot about how hard it is to live this life, everything we do seems pretty extreme. and it gets hard. but for all the hard there is so much good, and thats something ive been thinking about lately.

this life is hard, you spend five solid months pouring everything you have into others, opening your heart for all to see, and you share it, praying that it will be well received, and not hurt. and sometimes it is. but you still press on, and press in, completely leaving yourself vulnerable, because that is the only position you can be in. it is the only thing that can bring success. then you leave the country for two months, and live in harsh conditions, where absolutely everything about yourself, the people with you, and god is magnified and way more intense than normal. you adjust to this, adjust to having less, seeing heart-breaking sights everyday. then some plane rides later, bam. you're back in the states, having to re-adjust to everything you've known as normal your whole entire life, and its a lot harder than you think. except its a little bit different now. you find yourself realizing that so many things are unnecessary. there is so much more out there than your little world, and you want everyone to know about it! you want to share your experiences with others, but find that they just don't understand, and sometimes, just aren't interested. then, staying here, you live inside a bubble, where everyone is similar to you, as far as vision and experience goes. living in community with other believers, sharing your lives; good, bad, ugly. this cycle repeats itself year after year, and you find yourself going numb to the goodbye process, making it short and quick, less you allow yourself to experience the hurt that comes with saying goodbye to someone so dear and special to you, who has been a huge part of your life, and growth.

this, in part (because truly, how can i fully describe what my life is? you just have to come here and experience it for yourself) is what my life is like. and you want to know something? for all the pain, it is so worth it, and i feel like i don't deserve to be a part of this, because who am i? and that is grace. it makes life unfair. what a wonderful state to live in.

and back to relationships. i cant imagine a life without people in it, adding to and expanding my life experiences. my life is so much fuller and richer because of the people in it, and i know that no matter where i go, i will always surround myself with people, because people are what its all about. loving god, and loving people. that is all we are asked to do. and what fun it can be besides!

when you look deep inside yourself, really far down, to the place below the place where you can lie to yourself, you will see the same, that you crave people to surround you. im not talking constantly, all the time, no breaks, never alone, no alone time. but as a whole, we need people. we do.

and the next thought i think is about the type of people i surround myself with. the first thing i know is that i need people who challenge me. who challenge me to be a better person, challenge my thoughts and beliefs, because then they can become my own. people who challenge life, because i am so prone to just go with the flow and question nothing.
i will always surround myself with people who love jesus, because i know that no matter what happens, we can depend on that commonality to get us through.
i want to always surround myself with people who don't believe in or know jesus, because i want to always be sharing the love and truth that i have found. what they do with it is up to them, but i cant hide this love!

this video isn't the greatest, but its the best version of the song i could find. as i was writing this, this song kept playing itself in my head, so i thought i would share. the artist is keith green, who ministered in the seventies and part of the eighties. his story is worth reading about, and if you are interested, click here to find out more. this song is one of my favorites, its fun and silly, and speaks so much truth. enjoy!